I have no game.
It has become shockingly apparent to me today that I have no idea how to entice the opposite sex. I feel bad for My Crush, who has probably had to suffer through my lame attempts to let him know that I am interested. Not that there have been many, if any at all.
I think this morning I smirked at him. I have a decent smile, you think I could have unleashed that, but he took me by surprise and my smile came out like a smirk. I don't even think teeth were involved. It was 9 A.M. I think I had one sip of coffee and I had my faces smashed into my hands trying to hold my head up right. I saw someone coming out of the corner of my eye and turned to see who it was. It was My Crush.
Eye contact.
Him-Cute, sheepish smile.
Me-frighteningly smooshed, closed lipped smirk, most likely accompanied by dear in headlights expression.
He goes through the door and I groan audibly. Spinster-hood here I come!
On my lunch break the Band Camp was having a chamber music concert and My Crush coaches one of the chamber groups. (In case you were wondering, I have forgiven My Crush for working for the band camp because he incredibly cute, which negates the band camp geek factor.) So I spy My Crush standing in the back watching the concert with the roommate, so I saunter casually out to he theater to "watch" My Crush, er, I mean the concert.
When I was out there I did a wonderful job of looking interested, clapping at the relevant times and breaks in the performance and making conversation with a woman who works in the communications.
What I really was doing was communicating telepathically to My Crush that I was interested and available. It didn't work. I don't know why I can't just get the nerve to ask him out. It works in my head.
"Crush, we're two single, healthy adults, I think we should get together and have drinks."
Crush looks pleasantly surprised, "I could feel a telepathic connection with you, but your beauty intimidated me and I was afraid you were out of my league."
Me, blushing modestly. "Crush you flatter me! Saturday at 8?"
"That would be perfect!" Crush grins broadly, like he has won the lottery. Which is what going out with me is akin to.
Of course again, that's all in my head.
In reality I will probably just smirk at him again tomorrow. Let us all cross our fingers that there is no drool.
2 comments:
Good. Relationships are for suckers. Be grateful you're alone so you have a fully wallet or purse, you can hear and not be yelled at, a big bed all to yourself, and no bullshit emo drama. Use your hand and imagination, that's all you will ever need.
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