My brother and sister-in-law are down the Cape for the week so I graciously offered to pet sit for Cuddles, their 10 week old kitten. Why they didn't take him with them is beyond me, but I digress.
In offering to pet sit, what I really meant was that I would like to take Cuddles to my apartment and pretend that he was mine for a week. What they heard was that I would go a half hour out of my way to stop by and make sure Cuddles wasn't lonely, turn on the pool filter and take in their mail. Huh? Communication problems maybe?
Originally, I was going to stop in on Tuesday and Thursday nights and M's sister was going to do the rest, seeing she doesn't work and lives five minutes away. I didn't even want to commit to that much, seeing as I have a whole apartment to move sometime in the next 5 day; however, by the tone of big bro's voice, I wanted to avoid any "Kate is an ungrateful bitch of a sister" conversations.
Saturday morning I get the call that they forgot that M's sister is going away Sunday into Monday and do I mind, stopping by Sunday night and Monday night? I can't say no, so its four nights of trekking into the boonies of Massachusetts.
Last night was the first night, and I must say it was worth it when I opened the front door and was greeted by pitiful kitten mews and saw a distressed Cuddles behind the downstairs glass door. I opened the door and he was glued to my side for the first fifteen minutes that I was there. Poor little bugger was so lonely!
We were having a good time, I had turned the pool filter on and was letting it run for a few hours and Cuddles and I settled down to watch the Miss Universe Pageant. I'm not usually a pageant fan, but I am a Project Runway fan, and I wanted to see Kayne's dress on Miss USA.
While I was relaxing, Cuddles was attacking any appendage that moved and that included my nose, but eventually he fell asleep on my neck and we were very cozy. This is when I decide I should go outside and shut the pool filter off. It was after the evening gown competition and before the questions. I go to go out the back door, but it was pitch black and the outside lights are upstairs off the porch.
I head up stairs and go to open the sliding glass door, but its stuck. I then realize that there is a door stopper, decorated with Kitties holding the door shut, so I lift that, open the door and slide out shutting the door behind me. I get back, tug at the door, nothing. I sigh, keep tugging and then realize the door stopper had slid back into place!
No worries, I'll just use the back door. Locked!
I'm locked out!
I'm trying not to panic and cursing myself for being so paranoid as I circle the house looking for a way to get back in. There is nothing. I'm barefoot and my keys and phone are inside. Finally I see the air conditioner in the window below the deck. Of course there are crushed rocks and spider webs under there, but I asses the widow and start to bang on the air conditioner. All I can manage to do is break the plastic siding and create a hole only big enough for the kitten to squeeze through and of course he does and won't stay in. So now I'm sweaty, dirty, frustrated and bug bitten holding a kitten and I decide the only thing I can do is go borrow a phone from the neighbors.
I arrive on the door step probably looking like I just spent the week in the woods clutching a squirming kitten, but they are nice, if not a little confused, and let me use their phone.
I call my parents. It was one for the most frustrating calls ever! I couldn't get them to understand that bothering complete strangers was my last resort and yes I tried the front door.
Finally they get bro on the phone after me standing on the door step for 15 minutes while Cuddles calmly swatted at mosquitoes, and told me that the window near the back door should be open and I might be able to reach the lock from there.
The Neighbor offers to come with me and we head over to look at the "open" window. That window was locked tighter than Fort Knox, I sigh almost defeated and tell the neighbor about the air conditioner.
Its the only way. He agrees and goes home to get a crow bar, so we can wrench the window open.
Poor Cuddles is getting more squirmy by the second, so I spy the doggy door left over from the previous residents and figure I can at least put him down in there. Of course the doggy door is wedged shut, just In case the midget burglers came to the area, but I start banging it in frustration and it finally opens. I place the kitten inside and just for fun see if can reach the lock.
My fingers swipe against the door handle, but its the dead bold that needs to be released. My fingers are barely able to touch the bolt, so I get down on the ground and wedge half of my body into the doggy door, my face is squashed up against the door, the kitten is attacking my fingers and I am stretching as far as I can without dislocating my shoulder. This is how the neighbor finds me. He peeks into the window and exclaims how I'm almost there. I think he was happy at the fact that he may not have to use a crow bar on his neighbor's house.
I push one more time, hear my shoulder pop, and my fingers manage to twist the bold and it clicks open. My body sags in relief and exhaustion. I'm in!
I profusely thank the neighbor and rush inside. I am shaking with frustration. I HATE doing bone-headed things like that, but at least I didn't have to smash their air conditioner.
I had to tape up the window where I broke the air conditioner siding, and wedge the screw back into the pet door. I'm heading back tonight. I'm so scared that some how Cuddles managed to escape through the tape and is missing.
As I'm sitting here itching my bug bites and rubbing my bruises you better believe that my phone is going to be attached to my hip, my shoes will be on and my keys attached to my hand, I may even use staples.
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