Hot Date?

I just had to ask to leave at 4:30, because I have to run home and shave my legs.

Hot date tonight?

Nope, not in the slightest. J made us last minute pedicure appointments for 5:30 and after I agreed to them I realized that I've been a little neglecting in the leg department. I know, its an atrocity, a girl should always be prepared, but the rate that my love life has been moving along lately, there just hasn't been just cause to keep it up.

So now I have to fly home, shave and fly back out again. I wonder how many times I will cut myself.

I also love how I justified this as a good excuse to leave a half-hour early. I'm just glad my boss didn't as me why.

UPDATE: Four times I cut myself. Stupid Venus disposable razors! This tiny nick on my leg kept bleeding during the pedicure and the girl kept giving me dirty looks, and I couldn't understand her and I couldn't stop the bleeding. I was so embarassed.

Four-Day Weekend!

I don't really have any plans, but I'm kind of warming up to the idea. My favorite weekends are when I can just lounge by my parent's pool, eat their food, drink their beer and bother them. When I'm there I don't feel the need to go out and assert my single-girl twenty-something status. I'm pretty content to lay out and fall asleep on the couch by Ten, watching baseball and the Food Network.

My life has been caught in the doldrums lately. My move is in two weeks, so that should be exciting, if not a giant pain in the ass!

I've expressed my distress of packing up my whole apartment to my father.

"What do you have to pack, just throw in all in the Uhaul."

"Dad! I have dishes, they break you know? I have about 24 place settings and glasses, not to mention all the margarita, martini and wine glasses. And all those pans, I don't want them to get scratched, and my clothes and just little annoying things. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it. Will you do it for me?" Trying to play the only daughter card.

He just laughed.

"It won't be that bad."

Oh I think it will though. I swept my apartment last night when I got home, because I was embarrassed for a perfect stranger to see my unkempt apartment.

It was GROSS!

I really don't have the house keeping gene, my mother doesn't have it either. If my dad wasn't a neat freak we would have grown up in squalor. I did get the cooking gene from my mom, so if we had grown up in squalor, at least we would have been well-fed.

Just got off the phone with my cleanliness-challenged mother. The kitchen floor is being ripped up and she wanted to tell me that the guy working on the floor was cute. She knew much to much information about him for me to be comfortable with this development. I know she would never say anything about her single dating-challenged daughter, at least I don't THINK so. She never has done anything like that, but sometimes I feel like its only a matter of time before she's trying to pick up men for me in random places.

The first time I hear the words, "I met a really nice guy the other day at the gas station," is the day I know its all going down hill.

You think she could be satisfied by her two sons in good steady relationships, but I think we all know that the daughter is always the tortured one.

My Lovely Apartment

Actually its pretty gross right now, and I just found out that they're showing it tonight!

Now I definitely have to clean! G'Damnit!

There goes my peaceful night of doing absolutely nothing. The news was rather sudden I don't feel very positive about it. If anything I feel kind of sad.

Hell!

For the past three days I have been in hell.

By hell I mean I've been at work with no phones, in coming or out coming, no internet /email access and no internal server (where most of my work is done).

The theory is that the building had been struck by lightning during the storm that was LAST Friday, and it fried all our internal connections including our LAN. All I know is that it was miserable, and then when our phones got back up it was even more miserable because all you could say was that we couldn't help them right now because we couldn't see anything.

Needless to say I was tearing my hair out, and very very close to throwing something at my assistant, but I refrained because she is working all day Monday thus allowing me a four day weekend. (yay!)

Lets see what I've been up to. Not much to be honest.

I've learned that I can't drink like I used to. This old girl has definitely lost a few steps in her drinking game. I played two nights of beer pong over the weekend, I can definitely still throw a mean ping pong ball, but its the drinking part that killed me. I had to stop after playing my last game with water, thus producing boo's from the crowd, the water was necessary as my throat and stomach teemed up on me shutting down to alcohol. At least they were looking out for me! After Friday night, I had to end even earlier on Saturday night. Pathetic.

Even more pathetic was finding myself at IHop at 1 o'clock in the morning when I REALLY wanted to be in bed, but that didn't stop me from inhaling the pancakes!

That's really it. I've been a slug all week. I'm blaming the humidity and lack of stimulation at work.

Heartbroken

I've just been broken up with by a friend.

This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. Sure I have lost friends just by drifting a part and losing contact, but never like this, by abrupt words.

He thinks it would just be better if we didn't talk. That he is not in a position to be a good friend to me. Obviously its something I did. It just like a relationship. When they say "its not you its me." Its so you.

He doesn't approve of my future living situation and I can't justify myself anymore. Its just heartbreaking to me that this is what he would chose to end our friendship over. Its so trivial and stupid. Who I decide to live with doesn't change who I am as a person, but it must to him. I try so hard to be a good friend and a good person, but sometimes I guess its not enough for people, they see what they want to see in a situation and they will judge you accordingly.

So there goes four and a half years of friendship down the drain. My first REAL Friend in San Diego, made all by myself. Maybe we dated a little first, but we were better as friends, and I will miss him. I value his opinion and I knew he would (thought he would) always be there for me and maybe I've always maintained my little crush on him.

I guess its just amazing to me how people are able to cut people out of their lives for such small insignificant reasons. In the grand scheme of things, its not a big deal, what he's disappointed in me for. It all needs to be looked at in perspective. I mean, I could (God forbid) be hit by a bus tomorrow, and then what?

I just think relationship and friendships are the important things in life, and I guess I'm just not up to par for him at this point in time.

I hate how I'm teary as I write this, but it hurts, a lot. Of course I'm at work, lucky for me its a ghost town, so hopefully my red eyes won't be noticed.

Wilted Lettuce

I'm bored.

Its one of those weeks that creep by so slowly with nothing exciting to note and nothing to look forward to. I'm good when I have something on the horizon that I can focus on, but as of today there is nothing. I guess I can say moving is on the horizon, but right now its just making me nauseous to think of all the work I have to do to actually accomplish that moving thing.

Its hot too. I feel like wilted lettuce. Last night I managed to scrape my body off the couch to make myself some tater tots and that was about it. I'm not even sure what motivated me to do even that not to mention turn on the stove. I was just comatose in front of the TV until finally going to bed at 9:50.

I feel a million times better this morning, maybe I'm finally catching up on my rest.

The only thing propelling me through my day is the promise of Chinese food tonight for dinner. Food as my motivation. No wonder I've been feeling slightly chubby this week. The boredom makes me cranky, which makes me try to cheer myself up with bad food, and bad food combined with gross humidity makes for expansion. Its lovely.

So in conclusion I am bored which in turn make me boring, I'm wilted, I'm chubby and I'm cranky.

No wonder I have no plans this week and the only person who has called me in two days is my mother. I think that's only because I called her first.

I am officially a Booty Call

The lease is signed.

I'm pretty sure living with three boys is going to turn me into one, seeing as after the lease I ended up at some all-you-can-drink benefit thing and then Hooters. Hooters was very disappointing; however, the crispy chicken salad wasn't half bad.

After Hooters we made our way to the Purple Shamrock in Fanuiel Hall, which was pretty lame and made me feel very old so on the way I figured I would text D, since he is much older than me.

"Whatcha doin?"

"Just left graduation at the Harvard club and you?" 'scuse me Mr. Fancy Pants.

I was slightly embarrassed to admit to the Purple Shamrock and just replied "Fanuiel Hall."

"Where ya going?"

Okay I had to fess up now. "The Purple Shamrock. Interested?"

"Going to Oak Bar, Meet later?" Of course he's going to Oak Bar, can we get any further way from the Shamrock quality-wise? Feeling very scrubby, I respond, "Maybe, where's Oak Bar?"

In asking where the Oak Bar was, I was trying to figure out if meeting up later would even be worth it, logistically. I mean if Oak Bar is far there's really no reason to continue the conversation.

He doesn't reply so I figure he thinks I want to stalk him. Please.

About an hour later I get. "I didn't see that you had responded, where are you?"

Repeat conversation from an hour ago, with me asking him how the Oak Bar was and telling him that it sounded pretentious and him writing back "lame." Not completely sure if he was referring to the bar or me.

We make our way out of the city to go home. I'm wiped anyway seeing I was dragged into the city directly from work with out a chance to change. I'm completely city-grimy. I shoot D a last text saying I was home and maybe we could hang out another time and he response with "come over?"

Seeing that it is 12:45, it is this that leads me to conclude that if anything, I am a booty call to D. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I believe booty calls would need to be much more efficient than D. He's too far. Maybe when I get into the new place it would be more practical, if booty calls can ever be deemed practical.

Hmmmm... I've never been someone's official booty call. Interesting. I don't know if I would be a good one though since my initial reaction to a 12:45 AM invite was:

"Ummmm, No."

Maybe I won't turn into a boy after all.

The Great Plate Debate

Tomorrow night is my best friend J's wedding shower. I am in the wedding with three other girls, and therefore part of the shower planning.

I'm in charge of plates. Easy right?

Absolutly wrong!

Should they be printed? Should they be solid? How much should they be? What colors? Will they clash with the table cloths? (M's job, ivory). Will they clash with the flowers? (S's job, dark pink and light pink rose petals) Will they be sturdy enough? Will there BE enough?

All these questions and my personal self-doubt about my taste in paper plates makes for a very stressful shopping trip.

I found myself in Itzaparty, (I really just like saying the name of that store). They have everything you could possibly want for a party and I was absolutely amazed by their stock. I didn't have time for admiring the other party stuff, I was on a mission since I was having dinner with the unaware bride-to-be that evening. I exchanged camera photos of some printed plates with M, which didn't work out.

"Are they black and red stripes with purple?" M asked after receiving the picture.

"No, they're Brown, pink and lighter pink striped."

"Oh my phone screwed the colors up. It looks Bright white in the middle."

"No its Ivory."

"Oh, well I can't tell."

"Never mind, they're $5.65 for 8 plates and we need at the very least 100 plates."

"Oh, try Wal Mart."

Which led my adventure in plate-getting over to the ghetto Wal Mart. Where I didn't see much just one possibility; however, my phone didn't work in the store, so I had to trek outside to try and phone M back, when my phone rang and it was K, sister of the bride and maid of honor. Also her twin so we are all close.

We literally had a 25 minute conversation on plates, finally coming to the decision that printed plates ARE too expensive for the number of people we are expecting and that we should get an assortment of ivory and different pinks in plates, dessert plates and napkins. So back in Itzaparty, I start stacking up all the plates and napkins and it was like a solo comedy sketch, first dropping one thing at a time, than another when I bent down to pick up the dropped item, and then finally everything. Taking a deep breath, I organized everything, fit them under my chin and staggered to the check out counter. I really hope they didn't have surveillance video.

$49.57 later that plates were set. WHEW! I was exhausted!

Finally home and actually had time to sit, when I get a text message. Fearing the plate debate was about to be rehashed, I gingerly open my phone and to my great suprise its from D.

The same D who fled after the movie and has been MIA, yet again, for about two weeks.

"Wassup? How are you? I'm in Florida heading back to Boston, had a credentialing interview at the hospital here in St. Petersburg."

D has a way of writing text messages that I have no idea how to really respond to. I coyly wait about 30 minutes and then text back.

"Hey! Not too much going on here. I just got back from a trip myself."

"Where'd you go?"

"California"

"Wow! Fun? I hope so!" and then before I could respond.

"Visiting that guy you dated a while back?" I felt it was a little prying for the kind of relationship that we have. The kind of relationship that is practically non-existent.

"Well I still have a lot of friends out that way, but yes I did see him."

"I'm glad you had a nice weekend, you deserve it, getting on the plane, talk soon. Smooch!"

Smooch? The man is 33. Though I do have to hand it to D, he has impeccable timing. He arrives just when I need a distraction from G.

I miss G and I hate it.

We'll see if the "talk soon" and smooches happen!

Dumb Luck

Flew in on the Red-eye yesterday morning and I'm still a little fuzzy. SD was great as always and I'm in a funk having to come back to my messy apartment and boring dead-end job, but at least for five days I was relaxed and had a bit of fun and a lot of other stuff. (If you know what I mean.) (large exaggerated wink)

I've decided that I'm a much better ex-girlfriend than a girlfriend. Once you get past all the rejection, "its not you, its me" and the "what's wrong with me?" phases of a break up and the period of no contact, I'm a pretty good friend to have. Things are good with G and aside from a tiny meltdown before leaving on Tuesday, mostly due to the fact that I didn't want to return to reality, I'm as comfortable with the situation as I can be now.

I'm signing the lease on my new apartment. I'm feeling a little hesitant over the move. One reason is the outpouring of negative comments about my decision. Several have told me they won't visit me and they feel like this is not the best decision for me. As far as I know, I'm a pretty capable person with a pretty level head on my shoulders. With the exception of relationships, I am an extremely practical and laid back about most situations. I didn't make it to twenty-seven based on dumb luck. I didn't just stumble to where I am now. All the decisions I have made in my life have turned out to be good ones.

Of course they have their negative sides too. My living situation right now for example. Yes, it is sucking me dry and I cannot afford to live on my own, yet still I HAVE lived on my own, I know I can and I know I like it. Now its time to move on and save some money, and frankly I like being around people and I think it will be nice to come home to other people, to have someone to cook for and hang out with and to not have to be alone all the time, not to mention split the utilities four ways with.

The decisions I make about my life are the right decisions. They are the right decisions specifically because I say they are and I will work hard to make them the right decisions and if for some reason the situation turns bad, I know I am strong enough to make another decision to change it.

I'm not sure how people view me as a person. Judging by some reaction I fear that they see me as helpless and pathetic. They see me as someone who is not strong enough to deal with the decisions that are made.

As far as I know, I have never made a devastatingly bad decision and definitely I have never made a decision I could not live with.

All that being said, the thought of packing up my whole apartment is making me nauseous, but that's because I'm just frighteningly lazy.

Disaster or Fun?: Its A Waiting Game.

So there are two situation going on in my life right now that could either be great or disastrously bad.

1. I am flying out tonight to go to San Diego for five days. I am staying with G. I am nervous and I am excited, for several reason. One being the weather is absolutely atrocious! I can't wait to get out of New England for a few day. The other being my job is driving me insane these past few weeks. I've been busy, but busy with things that aren't really important and not fun to do and just aggravating.

I'm excited too, because this trip will be different. No pressure to figure out where the relationship is going, no unanswered questions and no doubts. There is just time for fun and enjoying each other's company. I can't wait to leave. I'm taking off at five. I'm leaving work at 2:30. The minutes are CRAWLING!

2. I'm moving. I live alone right now and I do love it and I love my apartment, but its sucking me dry. I just can't afford it anymore. I'm going to have three roommates, all boys. J, P, and A. It will be very interesting. We put in a application on Tuesday and we're just waiting to hear if it is accepted.

I've lived with guys before and it was a much more pleasant experience than living with girls. I'm pretty easy going so nothing really phases me, and I'm not type A so the general state of the apartment won't be an issue either. I'll just be glad to split rent and utilities four ways.

The two bad things are, my commute to work will be thirty minutes longer and I will be within three minute from a mall, WALKING.

All my money saved is doomed!

I Shaved My Legs for This!? AKA My Date with D

So I was enjoying a pretty nice Saturday apartment hunting with J and P and stuffing my face with Baja Fresh when I got the text message from D.

I think he can sense when I've completely written him off and then he appears out of no where. It had been about a week and a half since I had heard from him. Some where in the flurry of text messages we decide to meet in the city to see a movie. I was a little hesitant seeing the extreme short notice, (texted at 5, movie at 7) but I was bored and up for a little excitement.

I ditched J and P, felt a little guilty, and ran home, jumped in the shower, managed to shave my legs, look cute and run out the door in fifteen minutes. I jumped on the train and managed to get there ten minutes before the movie was about to start. I was very proud of my effort.

I had to wait for him to get there, but it seemed normal enough when he finally arrived. We exchanged hellos and he made a comment about my naturally curly hair which until now had been tamed to straitness and we made our way into the theater.

There was flirting a little talking and then the movie began.

After the movie we made our way out.

D "So I think I'm just gonna take off. I have to run a 10K in the morning."

Me, "Umm okay. Thanks for the movie." Thinking, he couldn't have mentioned the 10K in the first place?

D "No problem. Bye." Kiss on cheek and a hug and walks away.

Except we're walking in the same direction, we're waiting at the same light to cross the street, but it was so awkward because we already said our goodbyes, so I feel like we can't talk. Some random conversation was exchanged, but it felt strained.

The boy could not get away from me fast enough! Very strange.

It HAD to be the curly hair!