If Only I Had A dowry

I'm heading over to my brother and sister-in-law's house tonight after work. I think he mostly invited me because I owe him $50 dollars for our parent's anniversary present. He is the oldest and most responsible (though that is debatable) he usually, or his wife usually, gets the present and then tells me and my younger brother what to pay him. I'm also going over because I will be checking in on the newest member of the family, Cuddles the kitten when they go on vacation. I love him and I want one of my own, but considering the fact that A told me if I got one it would mysteriously disappear, I don't want to put a defenseless kitten into peril.

Cuddles is the closest we have to a second generation in my family. We are all waiting with anticipation for the day when big bro and wife announce that they are pregnant, but that hasn't happened yet. They are my parents biggest chance right now. Well unless I get knocked up, but judging from my absent sex-life, that probably is a long shot. Though I have been screwing up my birth control lately .

I thought we were getting the good news a few weeks ago. I was at the bro's house for a barbecue and M's (sister-law) mother comes up to me.

"Just who I was looking for! Has M told you the exciting news?" She says looking at me expectantly.

Of course my mind flashes to PREGNANT! So I look at M with wide eyes.

She roles her eyes reading my mind and says, "Its not that exciting, I'm not pregnant."

Her mom looks at me again. "I found a young man for you! He's a fireman and lives right near you. You know I live in assisted living and the fire alarm is broken so they have to have a fireman on duty. He was on the 3-11 shift last night."

"Oh, did you?" I look helplessly to M.

M looks at her mother, "Ma , leave Kate alone."

"Well he's handsome, and has two jobs, can I give him your number?"

Me being polite, "Oh well, I don't know . How old is he?"

"Too old for you, but he looks 30."

"He looks 30? Is he 40?!"

"I don't know. I'll get his number for you. I called M last night to get your number, but she wouldn't give it to me. She said you were probably busy."

I silently pledge to name my first born after M. "Well you can get his number for me then."

"Okay, He's very good looking. I will do that." Have I mentioned that M's mother is legally blind. I'm taking all that description with a grain of salt.

I smile politely and make a bee-line for the basement where I know they keep the vodka.

After my own mother comes up to me.

"What did M's Mother want?"

"Oh she found a man for me. I guess he's a good looking fireman, but you know her eyesight."

"She didn't! I can't believe her! Tell her to leave you alone!" Her face is incredulous, but then I slowly see it turn to thoughtful. "Well Katie, you never know?"

Oh Christ!