Its funny how fleeting the high moments are. I can feel up and optimistic, like I'm finally coming out of the hole, but then you slip right back in. Maybe not as deep as I was before, but down just the same.
I know I will regulate myself sooner or later, but to feel that high and then notice as it sinks back down. The butterflies are replace with that slick feeling of disappointment and despair.
I'll get there, keeping busy is the key right now. By keeping busy it means mooching off my friends every chance I get. Pretty soon they're going to breaking up with me. Keeping busy has also translated into TV shopping with my parents, tagging along to a party consisting of mostly married, pregnant people and helping J paint and rip up rug. (that was actually pretty therapeutic).
Apparently it also includes spontaneous phone calls and emails to old flames. All of which have come through wonderfully with complements, concerns and support.
My favorites include:
"Remember, we broke up because we were 3,000 miles away and that wasn't going to change, not because we didn't love each other." C
"I haven't really found anyone whose personality I liked, since you" M
"I remember when we lived together...I always wanted to hookup with you :-)" My former roommate T
Its always nice to know you're thought well of. Especially when the self esteem is a dangerous low.
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