The Hunt

"I plan to get by on my good looks." Wink, wink.

That was my response to being the only one not getting money out of the ATM before going out that night. *

The outing was initiated by me. We were going to a dueling piano bar that evening to meet up with my younger brother for his gf's birthday. I had invited friends of mine and we all headed out. The place was great, there was an actual focus to the bar, the two pianos and the really creative musicians that made the atmosphere work. I like a bar with a focus, it takes the pressure of "going out". I was happy just to be there, to have fun, watch the show, and to not worry about what other people were thinking. Did I look cute enough? Would anyone hit on me? It wasn't an issue.

It was, however, for two of my companions. Their focus was for hooking up, for finding a distraction or validation, and they looked miserable the whole night. Their heads always scanning the crowd for a possible target. Even the way one of them looked at my brother's gf as she enthusiastically declared it was her birthday, gave me the willies. Their actions exhausted me, and towards the end of the night, they carried an air of defeat, like the whole night was a failure and a waste of time.

"I remember this place being more fun the last time." He must have scored.

I am making an effort to quell my expectations of situations before they happen. I'm trying to be more free, more open to whatever may happen. I had a great time because I had no expectations, I had not set goals for myself and I could have cared less if anyone looked at me twice. I only wanted to say happy birthday, hand over my card and maybe have fun for a couple of hours. I felt I accomplished what I set out to do, as small as it was, and there was no disappointment.

And I did get by on my good looks. I told G I was not even wearing anything revealing, just a tank top and he laughed at me. He's right, I could wear a trash bag and there would still be cleavage. Oh well!

*I already had $30 in cash on me.