Heartbroken

I've just been broken up with by a friend.

This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. Sure I have lost friends just by drifting a part and losing contact, but never like this, by abrupt words.

He thinks it would just be better if we didn't talk. That he is not in a position to be a good friend to me. Obviously its something I did. It just like a relationship. When they say "its not you its me." Its so you.

He doesn't approve of my future living situation and I can't justify myself anymore. Its just heartbreaking to me that this is what he would chose to end our friendship over. Its so trivial and stupid. Who I decide to live with doesn't change who I am as a person, but it must to him. I try so hard to be a good friend and a good person, but sometimes I guess its not enough for people, they see what they want to see in a situation and they will judge you accordingly.

So there goes four and a half years of friendship down the drain. My first REAL Friend in San Diego, made all by myself. Maybe we dated a little first, but we were better as friends, and I will miss him. I value his opinion and I knew he would (thought he would) always be there for me and maybe I've always maintained my little crush on him.

I guess its just amazing to me how people are able to cut people out of their lives for such small insignificant reasons. In the grand scheme of things, its not a big deal, what he's disappointed in me for. It all needs to be looked at in perspective. I mean, I could (God forbid) be hit by a bus tomorrow, and then what?

I just think relationship and friendships are the important things in life, and I guess I'm just not up to par for him at this point in time.

I hate how I'm teary as I write this, but it hurts, a lot. Of course I'm at work, lucky for me its a ghost town, so hopefully my red eyes won't be noticed.