Tired of Sharing

For some reason I was nervous on the way down. In the back of my friends SUV, I was trying to keep my dress smoothed and my hair strait. I could feel it was a losing battle. We were headed down to the Naval Academy in Newport, RI for the wedding of my former SD roommate and friend from high school. I wasn't sure why I was nervous. It would mostly be my friends, but that has been known to go badly.

I had been in touch with the third of the trio that made up the occupants of our three floor town house just minutes from the beach in SD. I hadn't seen T in about four years, but we had a pretty good relationship. He was like my BF with out the drama. More like a strait, gay boyfriend. If that makes any sense. I was looking forward to seeing him again, but I was also a little wary over the suggestive texts he had been sending. I kind of knew he had a thing for me, but I've always managed to not encourage that. I was looking forward to seeing him though, unfortunately so was M.

M and I have been friends since we were two years old. The first time I saw here there is a rumor I ran out in my skivvies to yell at her for using my smurf mobile. At the time I had no idea how much that one moment would define our relationship.

Every part of our lives is pretty much intertwined. It is hard for me to have something that is just mine. I cling to those things that are. I struggle to keep them separate. They're are mine and they are very, very few. T was one of them. M had met him once when she came to visit SD and then again when he was in Boston.

Even now thinking about this and struggling with my feelings about this whole situation, I feel silly and a little immature. Basically T was mine and I didn't really want to share him. I supposed it was silly of me to think that after four years we would fall back into old patterns, but its just the principle.

The second I told M I heard from T she emailed him. If I was talking she was interrupting. When he had to put his sword in the car, she went with him and when she was cold he gave her his jacket.

In his defense, he definitely had a better chance of scoring with M.

The wedding was so fun and I had a great time so I don't want to dwell on the fact that I was unceremoniously kicked out of my bed because M jumped in it. I just don't get it.

The fact of the matter is that I've been too giving. It's always been easier to give in than to make a scene. Which is exactly what I did, I sat up, ignored the "you're leaving" question from T and headed off to the other room. I've always been a little too prideful, but it's really all I have.

Score one more for M. Another part of my life she has successfully infiltrated.