Productive

Now that I'm friends with the girls I work with my productivity has gone down hill. I find myself having to stay late to finish some of my work. I feel like the girl in high school who lets her grades slip because she's finally become popular. Its kind of humorous to me, because as much as I wanted to have friends at work, I didn't necessarily need them or feel like I was missing anything, but now its fun and it makes work all the more enjoyable.

I feel like the cool older sister, the one that's been through the ringer and is only wiser for it. I keep my melancholy to myself. They think I'm smart and wise and ask for my advice. Its flattering.

They think I played it cool with the D situation and were wondering how I pulled it off. Its hard to tell someone its easy to play it cool when you're empty inside concerning the situation. He has trickled back into my life. Slowly. I don't think he decided to go the friends route. We were discussing getting together for dinner when he admitted that he "missed the hot sex" and of course I miss it too, but how long until he starts beating himself up again about it and in turn affecting me again?

He also said if we did go to dinner he couldn't promise he wouldn't try to take my clothes off.

Sigh.....

I mean I miss it too, but at what cost am I willing to fall back into that situation?

Besides, my mom forbid me to sleep with him again. No, I'm not kidding.

That's where it stand now. Not much to go on, the last contact being a One A. M. text asking if I was out. I wasn't, I was sleeping.

Every thing else is moving along. Work is going well, I'm having fun, which for some reason seems more important to me than moving up or on. My birthday month is around the corner. G is coming to visit from Iraq for a week towards the end of May. I more than a little excited to have a buddy for a few days. Now I just have to decide what to do!

May is shaping up to be a fun month! Fingers crossed!