Deep Breaths

I'm stressed.

I don't like being stressed and it annoys me that I am. Everything seems to be colliding at once, boring, slow work days, moving with no immediate plan and of course hormonal issues. The latter making the former worse than they should be.

I'm sitting here at my desk, head in hand when I could be packing for a yet to be determined move date. I have a three day window, but I'm assuming the last possible second. I'm annoyed at that.

I'm antsy and anxious and I think I'm developing a tick that makes me compulsively check my cell phone, just in case that certain MIA Dr. should have texted.

He hasn't. I'm annoyed and yet still not surprised, but the difference is before I was pretty sure I would hear from him again, this time not so much. I can't explain it, it just is.

I came veeeery close to texting him last night, but refrained. I had gone out for a little while with J to celebrate his finishing the Bar, but left pretty early to escape is non-friendly, snooty law school friends. I had to take the T just on the other side of the park from where D lives. I had my phone flipped open poised to text, but said no. I descended down into the depths of the subway and cut my losses.

It was nice to paid attention too for a little while, I just made the mistake of getting used to it. As I reflect backwards on our recent interaction, (Me? Reflect and analyze? Never!?) the more I am convinced that I was not exactly out of line.

If this was the text message than started it all and in the next few weeks was followed by not one, but two suggestive pictures, than I wasn't completely off by being confused by the whole situation.

Ugh! Why can't I just find someone normal?

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go drown my sorrows in a tomato, mozzarella and basil wrap. Mmmmm.