Not That Surprised

Well I haven't heard from D.

I guess I'm not really surprised, but I had hoped it would be different. I have fun with him and I would like to hang out with him more, but he's just so unreliable. I'm hoping it doesn't have anything to do with my behavior the other night, but I can never be sure. I'm never sure of peoples actions, why or why they don't do certain things. I never know what's going on with other people.

It tends to drive me crazy and send me into the depths of self doubt and second guessing. I let myself descend a little this weekend, but no more. I've pulled myself out.

There's no point. I knew how D operates and I have to accept that what I would do and what anyone else might do in this situation is very different and I can't control what other people do. I'm not ashamed of how I acted, I'm just annoyed at the whole thing.

I think one of the reasons that I was so anxious the other night was because I know how he operates. Seeing him twice in one week was unheard of! Who knew when I was going to see him again? I got what I wanted.

So I'm done with thinking and obsessing about it. I've done what I can, its out of my control.

I have much bigger things to obsess about. One week till moving day and I haven't even THOUGHT about it. Okay well I did order boxes, but they're not coming until tomorrow so there's really nothing I can do until then.

I'm still slightly in denial about the whole moving process. It doesn't seem real that I'm leaving my apartment in a week. I don't want to. I like it there, but I have no choice and so it must be done.

I like my new area, its really cute and has a lot of fun things around that I can walk to and explore. I think I'll like it there.

I don't really know what to think or expect from my new roommates, but hopefully I'll be able to figure them out soon.

I just wish I were already settled.