Oh My.....

I saw D last night.

I was really surprised that he actually texted me during the day, ending with "Hope to see you." I was touched, it was nice to be paid attention to and contacted within a reasonable amount of time.

I head over there, this time having time to beautify myself. We decide to go out to grab a bite to eat. A bite to eat to me means a quick appetizer somewhere low key and cheapish. To him it meant 23 Newbury, but I won't complain. Dinner was nice, we talked I had an extremely strong blueberry martini that tasted more like Robitussin rather than blueberry, fortunately for me I like Robitussin.

We walked back to his place, the night was warm and the air hot and sticky. Its the kind of sticky you can feel on your skin. My blow drying was all for nothing. Its the kind of weather that makes you instantly feel unattractive.

D is being the perfect gentleman. I'm not really sure what to make of it. I don't see D as relationship material, if he were I think we would have gone that route already. I've known him for almost two years.

Back in his apartment he mixes us huge vodka tonics and we sit at opposite ends of the couch just talking and listening to music. He offers to burn me the CD, he asks me what I'm doing this weekend. Its nice, but the tonic is strong, I know I'm getting drunk and my attraction to him is getting stronger.

He looks at me funny.

"You're pretty buzzed?"

"No I'm not." I pause, "Maybe a little?"

"Will you be able to drive? Should I call you a cab?" He's being sweet, of course my vodka soaked brain is like "is he kicking me out?" He already told me at dinner that he has two big cases the next day and he gets up at 5.

"No, I'll be fine."

"You're sure?" He looks concerned.

Now I get pissy when people try to take too much care of me. I can handle myself, but Vodka Kate gets indignant. "I'm fine, I'll just sit in my car until I can drive." I get up.

He looks at me funny, like he doesn't recognize me. "Why are you getting all pissy?"

"I'm not! I'll be fine."

"Will you text me when you get home? Do me a favor?"

I look at him, annoyed. "No?" he says?

I sigh, "I will." We walk to the door. I'm confused. Why won't he make a move? Why won't he touch me? Is he not attracted to me? This is what's making me pissy, not him per say but the fact that I can't articulate what is making me pissy and what I want.

"Okay, well drive safe."

Me still being embarrassingly sullen. "You got all weird on me." he says.

Then out of the vodka haze comes, "Well I'm not the one sending naked pictures."

He looks at me questionably again and laughs. "You're crazy."

He's right and I deflate. I decide honestly is the best route, not that I can really redeem myself or my recent behavior. I smile sheepishly. "I'm sorry its just been a while, and I'm awkward."

"What's been awhile? Since you've been physical with someone?"

I nod, extremely embarrassed.

"How long?"

"Seven months."

"Good lord!" and he grins. "You want to get naked?"

Now I'm demure. "Oh no, you have to get up early, and I didn't mean it like that." I rush out a stream of excuses, but its too late he grabs me and is backing me towards the bed.

"I just didn't want to be forceful with you." With that comment we tumble backwards.

As he commented later. "Zero months, Zero days, Zero minutes."

I'm not quite sure where that brazen hussy came from, or as I like to call her Slutty McSluterson, but it was well worth the embarrassment I felt later.

Of course I've had thoughts crop up, was I too forward? Should I have been more patient, more confident? Will I hear from him again? But when its all said and done, I got what I wanted and I sure do hope I get it again!