Good Day

Today will be a good day. There are many reasons for it to be a good day and I will keep reminding myself.

First and foremost. Yay Celtics! #17 in dominant fashion. Not to mention no more late games! Kevin Garnet is amazing to watch. He's just so......tall. I might incorporate chest thumping and head slapping into my daily work routine.

The T was almost empty and I wasn't hot getting on. The temperature was perfect and the air was dry on my walk which means I didn't waste 10 minutes blow drying my hair today. I can't tell you how much that makes me feel good, to be able to glance at yourself in the T window and not want to gag.

Today was also free coffee day. There is a little coffee stand in the basement of my building and I go there every morning because it is convenient and the woman who works there knows I always get a medium coffee. The coffee is above average and every tenth coffee is free! Today was my tenth coffee.

I do have to keep reminding myself that is the little things that make good days out of mediocre days. I've been fighting the melancholy this week. Even the usually pick me ups haven't been helping because I'm coming off a wicked stomach virus that wiped me out last week and food isn't appealing to me. I mean I eat, but there's nothing that I crave. I'm still exhausted from the three days of puking, abdominal pains and fever. Even now I could probably lay my head down on my key board and pass out.

I'm going through the motions though. I met R last night for dinner by the waterfront. Its so nice down there. I need to spend more time in that area. After I met friends for trivia, but I wasn't into it.

Even though I want to wallow, I'm not allowing myself. I'll get my energy back soon.

Why is it always when you're sick do you realize, "Wait a minute? There is no one right now who cares that my insides are turning upside down and I can't lay still because the pain is making me writhe?"

All I wanted was some Ginger Ale and some saltines and Tylenol since my ibuprofen was making me hurl. I had no one to get that for me. So of course I pulled on my jeans, tugged my ratty t-shirt over my head and went to the grocery store. I only had to pause in the isles a few time so as not to fall over. Lucky for me I live in a very eclectic area, so I wasn't exactly out of the norm.

I'm a big girl and I know how to take care of myself.

Its just sometimes you don't want to or don't want to have to.

Sticky

Here in Boston, we are in the middle of heat wave. It has be unseasonable warm the past 4 days and frankly, I'm sick of it. This is ruining summer for me.

Its taking me forever just to decided what to wear! What will keep me cool? What will mask the inevitable sweat stains that appear? What won't make me look like a sweaty, bloated whale? Its fun and I'm running out of options.

Last night at dinner with my brother, I was wearing a greet khaki skirt that hit maybe two or three inches above the knee for the second time in three days because my wardrobe is that lacking and we were in a vinyl booth. All was fine and dandy until we went to leave and I got up and it felt like all of skin on the back of my thighs had been left on the vinyl. I was positive there was an audible ripping sound which then cause me to shriek in pain and my brother burst into laughter and pushed me out door before I could cause a scene, since my eyes were pricked with tears. It was embarrassing and very VERY painful. Stupid heat, stupid vinyl and stupid short skirt! UGH!

Its a little cooler today. I don't deal with heat well. Its right up there with close talkers and affection. I was almost reduced to tears this morning during my commute. The air WAS a bit cooler and there was a breeze so I managed to make it to the station with minimal sweating, and I figured it was a victory because when I got on the train it would be air conditioned. I figured I would be cool, my hair would stay strait and I wouldn't look like a wilted flower when I got to work. The train and I got to the station at the same time and I stepped aboard waiting for the cool air to hit my face and I was hit with a wall of HEAT! To my great dismay the heat was on in the train car, or the air just wasn't working and blowing hot air instead. Either way, it was effing hot and I was miserable. I sat fanning myself and unsticking my shirt from my back for the whole ride and I could pretty much hear my hair frizzing. I only let my eyes water before I blinked them back. I was very distressed though.

Sigh... summer is here! It should be cooler next week. I'm hoping this week was a fluke.

Masochist? Probably

So my thirtieth year has already proved to be interesting (or stupid, depends on how you look at it.)

G was here for a few days on leave from Iraq. It was the first time I have seen him since September and well that was a weird time, so this was much better. People ask me how the visit was and what we did and my answers were, the visit was good and we did nothing.

I mean of course we did SOME things, but really nothing stands out. We went to the gym, we shopped, we ate, he napped and I watched TV. We just hung out which was all I wanted to do and all he ever wants to do, so it was fine.

I dragged him out to one nice dinner Lucca in the North End. I recommend it HIGHLY!

I miss him now and of course he hasn't been in contact, he's probably with the Hoo-ah (as I lovingly refer to her now) in Sacramento, which is why he's MIA. I mean we're friends, why ignore me?

Oh well! Out of my hands. The visit was good and now I don't know when I will see him again. I do consider him one of my best friends, but I always tend to feel uneasy about it, like he's not with me on that and I don't know if it's just his personality, which has a tendency to BE that way, or if its just a complete ambivalence to me. Like he could take me or leave me. If I'm around, fine, and if I fall off the face of the earth, that's fine too. I try not to be negative about it, but he gives me nothing to go on and sometime is hard to be positive about something with no proof. If that makes sense.

Sigh....

End of that story.

As for other stupid, slightly masochistic event: D is back. I've seen him once since the infamous shower scene. It was nice to see him, but it wasn't as good as it was in the past. I'm guessing there was a little hesitation on both sides, and it seemed we were out of practice. Things have fallen into a similar pattern as before. Texting now and then, though I feel myself resenting his texts more than usual and feeling like its a chore more than a pleasure or a naughty secret.

We were talking about hanging out tomorrow, but now I think that won't happen for reasons beyond my control, so we'll see. I'm just starting to get flippant with the whole thing. Case and point, part of our texting session yesterday.

D: "When are we getting together?"

ME: "When do you want to? I'm free Thurs."

D: "That could work. (insert inappropriate texting here)
Anything I can do for you?

ME: "Me? I just want to be held"

D: "Yah I've never been much of a holder."

ME: "You? Shocking!"

D: "Lol, Be Nice! (insert more inappropriate texting).

Maybe I'm over it, maybe I'm not. I guess we shall see.

I've just been trying to pack my days and nights with activities. Alone time is NOT what I need right now.