Uhhh....

Honestly? Can one life be so devoid of events?

Looks like it.

Another slow week, another snow storm supposed to be happening tomorrow, and I really haven't done much. Dinners here and there, shopping here and there and then add that to a whole lotta nothing.

I'm in super hybernation mode, even nights out are messured up against the comfort of my bed. I've been like this pretty much since my sickness. I'm not saying I turn down nights out to be in my bed, I'm just saying, the thought crosses my mind. I ventured out for dinner last night with GJ. Well she ventured out more than I. I just had to take the T and get off on my way home from work, she had to drive in.

I always feel bad making people come into the city for some reason. I feel like I am out of they way. I'm glad they make the effort though.

Moving is still on my mind. I was walking to the T from the restaurant last night and as I walked along the Tremont side of the common I realized how much I really do love the city and being there. I wish I could afford to live in the thick of things and really be IN the city. There's just something about being right in the center. Its something I've always wanted. I get a little thrill of being there, and I almost convince myself that I can do it! It would be worth it! Then reality slaps me in the face and I compare my paycheck to the rents and just know I'm asking for trouble in the form of dwindling finances.

So I'm still torn on that, and while I had that thrill running through me as I walked along that historic stretch of land and watched the twinkling light reach up to the state house I also felt sadness of the fact that it might just not happen for me. I just can't make it work financially, and I wish I could figure out how to make more money. Then again doesn't everyone?

It seems pathetic to me that I'm blabbing on and on about a living place. Like why is that such an issue? I just feel like I've gotten to a point where I need to find what would make me happy and where I want to be and I have to stop thinking that happily ever after is going to come knocking, because, lets face it, the bitch ain't getting any younger. I want to make a place for me where I will be ultimatley happy or at least content that I am doing everything I can for myself. I suppose I'm projecting everything onto a space for me, a place of my own.

I'm not describing this well AT ALL! I've been foggy and a little scatter brained along with my hybernation. I also can't find clothes to wear almost every morning. Its like my flu made me fashionly challenged. I think I may have worn the same pair of pants twice last week and for that I am deeply ashamed.

I'm also having a chubby week, but I don't want to go into that one, because it is all my fault.

As for D, haven't seen him in 3 weeks? I think? I just don't have anything to say to him, so I haven't made contact and it speaks volumes that he has not either. Oh well. It was bound to fizzel out eventually. There's only so long you can keep something like that up and interesting. Now its just too much effort.

How sad is that statement?

(Okay, my spell check isn't working, so now you all can know how BAD of a speller I am, and for that I appologize)