I Don't Know

I'm sitting here, at my desk/counter, guiltily drinking a pre-school juice box, thinking that I should write something. I haven't written in a week.

My immediate response is: Write what?

I have a ton of things I can blog about. My 5 days with G, S's wedding, seeing married friends from Texas, but I'm coming down from all that so its hard to capture the excitement and fun of the weekend without sounding mundane and flat. I want to be able to do those events justice and I just feel FLAT!

I was so sad when G left that even the toll taker at the Sumner Tunnel tolls felt he had to call me sweetheart as I handed my three dollars over trying to hide my tear stained face. Its not fair, those days with G just felt right. Why don't I deserve to feel like that all the time? I'm going to stop there before I get into whinny mode, and NO ONE likes that, including me!

S's Wedding was a BLAST. She was the beautiful bride I knew she would be, but still retained so much S'ness (my new adjective) that even though it was a fancy wedding, it didn't feel stuffy or strained. It was just fun.

After a tiny self-doubt session about my dress and shoes and the pantyhose or no pantyhose debate, I felt I looked good, and G looked very dashing in his new suit. I don't know why that boy doesn't like to dress up, he cleans up very well.

My blah's combined with grey November weather makes for a bad combination, but I'll snap out of it. The holiday's are coming and I am a holiday FREAK! I really get too excited. I'm probably the only person who actually LIKES that the stores decorate for Christmas so early.

To cheer myself up, I'm making a list of things to look forward too. (Warning: Most will revolve around food and that is why I have upped my gym visits and intensified my work outs.)

1. Tomorrow night dinner with New Jersey friend at Bambara.

2. 6 WHOLE days off for Thanksgiving.

3. Christmas shopping, Christmas Carols, Holiday foods, Holiday smells, Christmas trees..ect.

4. Dec. 2nd 12 bars of Christmas Pub Crawl. 2-8 12 bars, how can you go wrong!

5. Christmas Eve with the family

6. Christmas Dinner

7. New Years in San Diego.

See, plenty of things to look forward to! So what if I'll mostly be alone and with out affection!