Giving Thanks

I need an attitude adjustment or a good ol' fashion kick in the ass and I know it.

Everyone else knows it too.

I've been a right old miserable bitch lately and I'm not quite sure how to snap out of it, but at least I'm AWARE. That's the first step right?

Then I look out my window and its snowing. I find my face softening and smiling without being conscious. The feeling is strange, it hasn't happened much in the past couple of weeks.

Hopefully that will be the bitch slap that i need to stop feeling sorry for myself, which is pathetically exactly what I've been doing. I'm not proud of it, but it happens. I'm willing to bet it happens to everyone once in a while.

Its still slow. I feel like the kid that acts up in class because he finishes his work and is not being challenged. I'm sure work will pick up, but every now and then I wonder if I made the right choice. (Counterproductive I know.) Like I said, its not like I'm not aware.

Sometimes, being aware of how you are acting is almost worse. Then you loathe yourself more for being a selfish little brat with your feelings and that's exactly what I've been lately, a spoiled, selfish brat with no one to play with.

I'm snapping out of it today! Thanksgiving is here, albeit early, but still on its way, holiday season is abound. Pretty red holiday cups with fun blue holders are all around, I'm obsessed with Starbucks holiday cups, they're so Festive!

So I'm making myself think positive and focus on what is good in my life:

My nephew is home and healthy and getting fatter by the day. Gains weight like his father's side of the family! Cute when you're 6 weeks old, not so much when you're a 28 year old woman.

I have a steady, non-stressful job.

I have a cozy apartment.

I have great, although busy, friends.

I made up, I think, with my best friend. Its still a little awkward, but its a start.

I have nothing to be down, cranky or upset about. I will not let my hormones get the best of me and I will not get annoyed when I have nothing to do at night.

I will grow up!

Sometimes I sit there and I do feel sorry for myself and then I realize, its better being alone and not having to please anyone. I can wear my fleece pants and hooded sweatshirt, laughing stupidly out loud while watching The Office on my dvr while eating mac n' cheese and pizza rolls and chugging a huge glass of Chianti.

Ummm that is all hypothetical and in now way was that my Monday night.

But seriously, fleece pants? BEST THING EVER.

Disclaimer: This was more therapeutic for me, rather than to entertain. :-)