Ahhh Life, You Twisted Bitch

Its like now that I'm about to be unemployed someone is playing a cruel joke on my to wrack up all these random charges.

My car died. D-I-E-D. I was taking a corner and BOOM! There was no power steering, no brakes, nothing. It just died. No warning, no fond farewell, absolutely nothing. After I had treated her so well, I am a little put out.

Being helpless on the side of the road is humiliating on so many levels. Especially when you are a woman, because any man who stops automatically assume that you are a bimbo.

One guy actually said to me three times, "I'm going to need you to listen to me veeery carefully." Yes, he did draw out the very. "Have you tried to restart the car?"

I looked at him with my plastered smile on my face., "No you jackass I've been sitting here in the freezing rain with my hazards on because my car is PERFECTLY FINE!"

Sigh....

Thank God for AAA. Its probably one of the better investments in my life.

So I've been towed back to work, I have to make my brother come and pick me up and drive me to my parents house so I can borrow their car, drive back to good ol' Cambridge because I haven't packed a thing for Texas.

It is just funny how I can float through life stressing to myself how fine I am and looking on the positive side of everything. I can focus on what I enjoy and what is coming up in my life, things of which to look forward, but in an instant a small situation like this can really make you breathtakingly aware of just how alone you really are.

Even though I will handle this myself or with the help of my parents, there's just that awareness that there really wasn't anyone whose main concern would be the fact that I was stuck in the freezing rain, in a broken down vehicle. It was only my main concern.

Just me. Only me.

It hurts. It really does, but only for a moment. I can't let myself dwell on that fact or I will mostly likely fall to pieces. In my most negative moments I allow myself to wonder what is it about me that makes it so easy to not care, why is it that I have to be alone, but I understand how this is counterproductive, but we all have our moments. So I will keep on plugging along until another random incident knocks me on my ass and I have to take a moment before I can pick myself up and dust myself off.

Again.....