It's me.
I haven't written in...what?...FIVE months and the funny thing is.... nothing has changed!
Well I mean some things have changed. I'm 30 now for one thing. I feel no different. I don't think I look different, but it's weird saying 30. At least I'm not alone, some of my closest friends are 30.
G has disappeared from my life without so much of an explanation. Good riddance to him. It's come to the point that I almost wish I had never met him. I hate to say that because I never want to regret anything, but sometimes (most of the time) I truly believe that my life would have been better without me knowing him. He has brought nothing positive into my life, except the knowledge that no matter how much you are there for someone, or care about someone, that will not prevent them from treating you like a big pile of garbage.
So I reiterate. Good riddance to him.
Other than that small hiccup my life is moving along and I am for the most part content. I mean of course there are moments when I wish I had someone to share a lot of things with, and then there are other moments when I'm not sure if I could be in a relationship. Most of the stories I hear are horror stories! Maybe I'm just listening to the wrong people and I don't want to be alone forever, but right now....I'm good.
I'm also fine with it because the thought of dating petrifies me! I can't even imagine sitting across from someone I barely know (or not know at all) and have to try and convince him that I am a great person and he should want to hang out with me and take me out and just like me. Why can't they just know that right away? It's exhausting to even think about, so I've just pushed it out of my mind. I guess when the time is right I'll know. Maybe.
All my friends have left me. They've flown off to do their residencies. I don't notice it so much right now because it's summer and I'm not around the city that much in the summer because it's too darn hot, but I'm sure once the fall comes I will miss them a lot. I guess that's the only reason I should try to date; so I can find someone to do stuff with.
In case you're wondering, D is still floating around. After ending it twice with me within a month, back in March or April? He came back. I guess we're both screwed up. I barely see him, but we talk a lot. I've always talked a good game, but sometimes I would rather just go home than see him. We've been in this silly situation for 2 years now. Everything gets old eventually.
So yah! Me....the same...yet different, but really the same. Sometimes I'm impressed by my stable consistency, but most of the time I'm distressed by my boredom. Sorry I would rather read than climb a mountain.
Let me know if you missed me! Even a little. A girls got to gather her compliments where she can.
