Well....He's not Dead

So, I finally heard from G.

Its only been four months and two since I my last attempt at contacting him.

It was weird, the mixed emotions of relief at finally seeing the familiar address in my inbox and anger at why he even bothered after all this time all that combined with the fact that I had just rolled out of bed.


Because my lap top sits on a table right near my door, I've gotten into the stupid habit if checking my email first thing in the morning. Usually its fine, but for surprising inbox admissions, its not.

I scrolled through the junk main and sales offers all the way down to the end, and I stopped short. Something had looked familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. I slowly scrolled back up and yep, there it was, a message from G.

I sat down hard, forgetting at 6:45 in the morning that I didn't actually have a desk chair, but a stability ball. Luckily for me catching myself after almost falling is second nature and I righted myself without incedent. Though I may have pulled something in the abdominal area.

I click on the message and there it is. He's sorry it took so long to respond. He kept forgetting. We gee, thanks! I can't tell you how great that felt. It almost like him deliberatley not writing me was better than him forgetting. Like you have to actually think about someone to NOT write them.

After the intial surprise at recieving the message wore off, I felt, well I felt nothing. It was good to feel nothing. Did I even want to write him back? Was there any point to doing so? I read the rest of his message. He said he was glad I left my old job and asked if I got a new one, and then his bombshell: He was no longer living in San Diego. He moved to Sacramento to be closer to his father who has health problems.

It just seems strange how disconnected we are, well to me of course. I know G and the way he is, I was never really let in. I guess I should be grateful he wrote at all and I am. I still worried about him from time to time and I guess I always will. Its my curse. I care too damn much about people who could give very little about me.

Oh well! When I was able to navigate through all my muddled feelings I'm glad he wrote and I know a little bit about where he's at. A very very little bit, at that. I hope he will stay in touch. For a long time he was first for me, and its always hard to let that go.

The Universe Even Knows!

My Horoscope for today:

Let's be blunt: You have sex on the brain today, KATE. Your passions are running deliciously high. What, pray tell, are you planning to do about it? If there is a significant someone in your life, call him up right now and tell him what you have in store for him this evening. You will make him crazy with anticipation! If, alas, there is no one special in your life, you can still curl up with a romance novel or sentimental video tonight. It won't be as good as the real thing, but at least it's something!


So see I can't NOT do it!

I'm a Good Girl! I Swear!

Work got a little tedious today so to break it up I shot off a text message to D. We have yet to set a date for our celebration, but much texting has been happening with no results.

So because I find myself so witty, I wrote: "So do you want to set a date to celebrate my six month anniversary?" Funny right? I was THAT bored.

He texts back in a little bit. It was very long, something about he was going to call me, he's going away from this date to that date and are we going to get together before then? I responded with my availability and he wrote back quickly. It was a little too quick and when I opened it, it was taking a little while to pop up.

Then it hit me: It was a picture. In the split second I was contemplating what it could be and there it was, with the message "I took this to show you last night." D in all his glory! (okay, no naughty bits.) and:

OH!

MY!

GOD!

He looked GOOD! He did not look this good last year. I'm almost suspicious seeing that his head was not included, but only almost. He had a great body the last time I saw it, but this goes that next step. I've been thinking about posting it, but I feel I should respect D. I did giggle over it in my cube for about five minutes before I could write back. I was a little shocked and not at all disappointed.

I sent something back in the vein of: "D! I'm at work! V. nice though!"

He responds back, "hehe (I could hear the laugh as almost sinister) I though you would like that."

He's right.

I did.

A lot.

Do NOT judge me. Six months is a LONG TIME!

Tentative plans for tomorrow depending on when he gets off call or whatever that means.

Why I Date About Twice a Year

"You're high!" I stared incredulously at the person in front of me. He was a virtual stranger. We had had email and phone conversations, but I had never met him in person. I watched him descending the escalator and I knew something was off.

He ignored my statement and I let it go. It was probably rude of me to assume having never been face to face with him before. Maybe he always looked squinty eyed and spacey, but I had dated someone who was very fond of the herb for about 10 months, I knew what it looked like.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I was starving and of course he had already eaten. "What the hell!" I exclaimed. "I don't care I'm starving, can't you eat anything?"

"Maybe." He mumbled. His eyes kept drifting. Forgive me for thinking a date with a 30 year old Accountant would be normal. What on earth was I thinking.

I put our name in at the restaurant near by and carried the conversation finding it hard to keep his attention, the lights and people were trumping me on that one.

He told me I was beautiful, but instead of making me feel good, I felt slightly dirty. I was flattered, but it was awkward. I wasn't holding back now, it was easy to rip on him. While he were waiting I tried again: "I'm surprised you're not hungry being HIGH and all." He looked blankly at me and changed the subject.

I couldn't believe he was flat out ignoring me. Despite all that I wasn't having a bad time. I was actually amusing myself.

We finally got a table and now that we were face to face, I tried one more time.

"You're High."

He had the decency to look sheepish. "Yah, but I thought it would wear off by the time I met you. I don't ever smoke, I swear!"

"I'm not stupid you know! I know what it looks like, you didn't have to lie!"

He ducked his head. "I'm sorry."

The date progressed. I ordered a meal and a margarita (because when all else fails, you always have tequila!) and he ordered a beer. The conversation was fine, I forgave him slightly when he said I could pass for early 20's. I told him he was like a child, getting distracted by everything in the restaurant. I wasn't holding back, he deserved everything I gave him.

The waiter dropped off the check and placed it in front of me. I sighed and pulled out my credit card. He looked at me a little helplessly.

"I didn't bring enough money."

"No worries." I said brightly. I jammed my card into the plastic holder and smiled. He tossed a ten at me.

"I have to go to the bank."

"You owe me." I shot back and then instantly regretted my words. I he owed me, does that mean I have to go out with him again? I felt bad for him really. He wasn't a bad guy, he just seemed a little lost and misguided. He also seemed to really like me.

We left the restaurant and walked to the corner, where I would walk home from there. We stood there awkwardly.

"Okay! I'm going to go home. You know where your car is right?"

"Yes." He looks at me. "I don't get a kiss?"

It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. "Do you feel you deserve a kiss?"

He ducked his head again, like a little kid. "A hug then?" He was hopeful. I had already informed him of my aversion to touchy feely crap.

We hugged goodbye and I left, chuckling to myself all the way home.

Its Been a Long One!

I've held off writing this week, because my initial reaction to my job was: "Good lord why did I think that getting a job would be a good idea!?" Being the rational person that I try very very hard to be I knew that I could not judge my employment by my first day, as much as I wanted to.

It also didn't help that my unemployment went through and I received a check this weekend. It was too late to turn back.

Lumped into my first work week was apartment searching and a disastrous date. Not with D, that's in the works, with a new person, but I'll get to that, if not now, later.

The first day at work I felt useless and like a big dork. I've never really been the new person with people my own age, which I am here. All my work situations I have been the youngest by a significant amount of time.

So here I am, the new chick. It took all my power not to run for the elevators, but I made it and I'm getting used to it and they're getting used to me, and g'darnit, they should WANT to be friends with me. I'm a pretty good friend to have.

The duties and the job obligations are slowly coming to me. I think I'll do fine. I have a fab window in my cube, so I can't complain, except I can see when its raining. No fun T stories yet, but they're always around the corner.

I guess I'm summarizing right now because I feel neglectful.

I'm sorry blog! We'll catch up soon, I promise!

Like I said, I have stories!

The Next Adventure

Now that I have taken care of one of the life changes that I have to endure: employment, I'm onto the next one: Shelter.

Hoo Boy is this going to be fun.

First of all. J screwed me over. (I know! Shocking right?!) [muttered with extreme sarcasm]

All the year we've been living together. J would say, "Kate we need to get a two bedroom!" or "I can't stand P or A, I can't wait till we get our own place." So silly Kate thought that would be what happened.

A couple of weeks ago, J and I were walking to get some lunch and I brought up the subject of moving. "So what are we going to do? Do you want to stay where we are and find someone to take A's place, since he's definitely moving in with his shadow, oh I mean C?"

"Oh," he's looking very uncomfortable. "I'm moving in with M." M is is friend from an old job. I think she (god forbid) has a crush on J. She's the one that sleeps in his bed. Ugh I just threw up a little thinking about it.

So needless to say I'm shocked. I thought it was all set! Its not that I was looking forward to living with J again, but the thought of living with J was much less scary than a) living with a complete stranger or b) trying to afford my own place.

I suppose you could say he was the lesser evil; however, evil just the same.

So now I'm on my own, navigating the fabulous world of Craigslist to find a roommate. Now that I know where I'm working, it helps looking for places, but there's no guarantee with people so its scary and frustrating at the same time.

I looked at an apartment a couple of nights ago. It was cheap and exactly a 1 minute walk from my current apartment. I know I like the area and I know its not too bad for the commute to work. (Oh my god work! I can't think about it, it gives me butterflies.)

The apartment was really small, but I could make it work. The girl advertising the apartment hugged me when I walked in. I started to shrink away from her, but I figured that would hurt my chances, so I hugged back. I mean I don't think she'll hug me everyday? Will she!? No, that's a little much. So yah, I put my hand out for a hand shake and get a hug.

Her bedroom is tiny, so mine would be the bigger of the two, although its not much bigger. The kitchen was the biggest room in the apartment which suits me fine. The bathroom was adequate, the back yard was okay, I guess the fact that there was a back yard was a plus. It was just adequate. I could make it work. If I had to.

At the end she asked me my astrological sign. I hope my expression of disbelief didn't shine through my perma-smile, but I'm open, whatever floats your boat. I'm a Taurus she's a Cancer. We are compatible. Thank the lord!

I'm looking at another place on Monday night to live with two guys. I think I do better with guys, but if they try to hug me I'm out the door. Talk about stressful day! Its within walking distance to work, so that's a big plus. Well a big plus except for November-April. HA!

So its from job interviews to apartment interviews. I think the apartment ones are worse. At least in job interviews your resume speaks for you at first. Its cut and dry. This is what I've done, this is what I can do and this is how I can work for your organization. With the apartment interviews is all subjective. They will either like you or they won't. They don't care if you can multi-task and whip up a PowerPoint presentation in five minutes. They want to know if you're going to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or not, (not that I share toothpaste, its just an example) or if you talk to yourself and hang swords on the wall. (Married friend from Texas totally knows what I'm talking about. If I were interviewing roommates that would be one of my questions. Oh and are you on any medication that you may leave around for us to find as well as, little notebooks filled with strange musings.)

ANYWAY!

So yah, fun stuff ahead. New job, apartment searching, and T commuting! Now I'm off to enjoy my LAST DAY OF FREEDOM by laying by the pool and possibly getting drunk, but I'll wait till after noon. Maybe.....

Celebrating

I decided to text D the other day to inform him that we would soon be co-workers. It wasn't like we would ever run into each other. The hospital is HUGE and I wouldn't even be working near it. I'm working with the Trust and they are house in a separate building far away from the actual hospital.

Its always fun to make contact with him because he amuses me to no end.

"Hey Stranger! I got the job at [big hospital]"

Shortly after he writes back and I burst out laughing. He never ceases to surprise me.

"That is great! Whats the title? Where? When you start? When do we celebrate (together, sweaty and in the nude of course?)"

Keep in mind that actually only happened once, and I was not in the best of places at the time. I also have not seen him since February, but its funny none the less.

We texted back and forth for a little bit decided that my way of celebrating (drinks) could possibly lead to his, ahem, way of celebrating. He wanted me to come over that night, to see his new place and have drinks on his roof deck, but I had to pick up my brother at the airport, and also last minute I remembered that I was in no condition for his type of celebrating. I put him off until next week promising to text him.

I will, he's fun, definitely definitely nothing serious, but something to look forward to. Whether we will actually get around to his method of celebrating is up in the air, because as he stated correctly: "He is much naughtier than me."

Greener Grass

Well, the good news has arrived. I have a job.

The Big Important Boston Hospital has decided, after six weeks, that I am worthy enough to join their ranks. I enter the workforce again next Monday. Oooooo I'm NERVOUS!

Now that I have a job.... I don't want one! Back to the daily grind, no more Regis and Kelly and reading for six hours in the sun. All I wanted was to actually get the job, not start it!

Seriously though I am excited, I feel like this will be a good change for me. There is only on blip in the good news for me. I went to the interview at the Big Important Cambridge University and I LOVED the idea of the job, but then I was offered the Hospital job that afternoon and I was torn.

I made the decision that if the Hospital job offered me more than I was making at my last job, I would have no reason not to take it. If I was offered the Hospital job about 8 hour earlier, I would have said "YES!" on the spot. When I spoke to the Recruiter the next day, they were offering me more, with amazing benefits, so I really couldn't find a good reason NOT to take the job. I mean I had NO guarantee for University job and we all know what happened to Rory on Gilmore Girls when she gave up her Providence Journal Job to see if she got the New York Times Fellowship and then she didn't get it and ended up traveling around with Barack Obama's campaign. So there is a lesson learned, except I'm not as cute as Rory!

I have one week left of unemployment and I'm a little sad and more than a little anxious. The weather is gross today too. I hope it clears up so I can enjoy my last few days of freedom. Tomorrow I have to go in and meet with HR and the go to Occupational Health and my mom thinks I'm going to have to get a tetanus shot. Yippee....

I now have to inform D that he owes me lunch! That should be interesting!